Street Child by Daniel Ng Year 5

Cold and poor Jim Jarvis hopped about on the edge on the road as the carriages flung muddy snow into his face. Yow! His last shilling almost burnt his hand! Jim pushed and shoved past all the skinny boys and dogs. Mrs Hodder tried to sweep out the snow but it was no use.

“Get out!” Mrs Hodder yelled.

“But I’ve come to buy a pie!” Jim whined as he opened and closed his fist trying to make his shilling wink at her.

“Then what pie do you want?” Mrs Hodder grunted.

“Just make it a big pie!” Jim suggested as he hopped up and down on the pie shop floor.

In seconds the pie was done! Jim took it, left the shilling on her counter and, TTFN he was gone. Zoom!

“Zooming’ through the streets of London, zooming’ through the streets of London!” Jim sang as he arrived at his room with his family in. As soon as Jim put the pie down he started shovelling it down; A: because he was starving and B: it tasted soooo good. Jim and his sisters had almost finished the eating the pie when Emily, (one of Jim’s sisters) started begging her mum to try some pie. She said “NO!”. Jim guessed that his mum was too sick to eat.

One hour later Jim almost fell asleep when there was a huge bang! Then there he was… the stick man (actually it was Mr Spink). Jim woke in a fright trying to crawl under his blanket when his sisters hauled him up to to face Mr Spink. Guess what happened next? They got kicked out! They travelled to Rosie’s place. Sadly Rosie only took Emily and Lizzie but not Jim. He was taken to the workhouse. The saddest moment is about to happen.

The next day he found out that his mum. . . died. Jim tried hard not to cry but in the end he cried so hard no one could stop his crying. Eventually he created a river of tears that took an hour to clear up. Jim let out a burst of tears and everyone did as well because no one had seen someone that sad. Days later Jim stopped crying and everything was better. He met Joseph and Tip. The one ting Jim didn’t enjoy were the tasteless meals. One day Jim volunteered to join the carpet beaters to have a chance to escape. He was carrying the carpet out and slipped away. Yes he was free! He could see Rosie and Emily and Lizzie and tell them that their mum died and all the bad news but they would be united again. Right now his life was a roller coaster.

23 thoughts on “Street Child by Daniel Ng Year 5

  1. I liked your version of the street child it is very funny and people will really like it the characters were really interesting and the expression also the characters all had good names.

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    4. Hola Ana! Tengo unos amigos por aquella zona, en Bérgamo, y estuvimos de visita hace un par de años. A ver si me pasas esas maravillosas recetas de la nonna , el risotto ese suena genial, debe estar riquísimo. Un abrazo

  2. Your blog is very emotional and full of very good punctuation, your work is very good but be careful not to use a lot of and’s in your blog.
    The word I like in your blog is zooming it give’s your blog very good adjectives.
    I would give your work 100% because your blog was a very good it was full of adjectives, punctuation and more

  3. Your blog is a bit funny and I like the word zooming. It was interesting but not a lot of and most of the words were good you could use next more often.
    You should more time connective in it.
    I like it so much and good adjective

  4. I really like your story and it has very good full stops and information and that was a very good story. I loved that you used the word mother your story was the best and you have a name called Jimi in the story and you have zooming that was my favourite you had rely good words in the story and your all spelling wore rite …

  5. I like your beginning of your story because you used lots of fantastic amazing words but
    one comment I will make that why did you use bang at the beginning of your sentence? The end of your story was really good and really fantastic.

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  11. RE:Street Child by Daniel Ng Year 5 | Vauxhall Primary School Authors Валок Джон дир Медногорск

  12. Hola José; veo que estás ocupado, porque llevas un tiempo sin escribir en la página por lo que veo… ( mala noticia para nosotros y quizas buena para ti, o eso espero ! ). Aun asi, dejo mi sugerencia sobre un tema: la stevia, un edulcorante natural que la EFSA aprobo en 2011. 4988Se lo que es, de donde proviene y en los casos que puede ser beneficioso pero desconozco como actua a nivel organico, efectos a largo plazo… ( suena mal, que sea acalórico y que endulce 300 veces mas… )

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